Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Summer Blues.

Summer has been a bit stressful.

Money is tight, we’re tired from moving not one but TWO classrooms home (roughly 4 carloads per classroom… ask yourself what would YOU do if you had to store 8 carloads worth of books, furniture, rugs, and other crap in your home. Where would it go?! Welcome to our world…) and subsequently trying to store it.

Then the wall caved in. Literally. Our pool wall on the fiberglass insert caved in for some unknown reason and we don’t know when and if we can financially take on the burden of redoing it, if it’s even at all salvageable.

Jake’s working this summer, and all our craziness this spring between a BFF’s wedding, plus two miscarriages (creating more medical debt, without the consolation prize of a bundle of joy), changing jobs, interviewing and applying, and whatnot meant no time for getting a garden in. We’ve just been drained in time and money this spring.

So no swimming, harvesting, planting, or landscaping has made me blue. It’s just not what I’m used to. It seems so different not having these ususal summer happenings filling up our time.

But it’s not that bad. We’re rearranging, cleaning out and purging, and having a yard sale in two weeks. The peach tree is hanging full for the first summer. We’ve got summer plans galore. A trip on the bikes for two to Chapel Hill last weekend for our 5 year anniversary/Jake’s orientation for Principal Fellows. Family reunion trip to Franklin this weekend. Whit’s birthday at the beach. Camping. Florida. Mak’s week at sleep away camp… I mean, we're gone every weekend- who needs that pool and garden, right, if we won’t even be home to enjoy it anyways? At least that’s what I’m telling myself. Still. It’s a bummer. It’s not what I wanted to expected from this summer break.

Honestly, I know there are much bigger things to worry about than these. I have so much to be thankful for! Seems so trivial.

Sometimes, we get used to how things are supposed to be, how they should be, what we’ve always done. We are all guilty of sometimes getting stuck that rut. But if anything, God has proven time and time again that it’s futile to make my own plans, and I will see that His are grander than mine in time. Even if it’s just my summer plans.

I have a dear friend who’s pregnancy didn’t go according to her own plans, and in just a few short weeks, if that, she will deliver a precious little boy some didn’t think would even make it. He’s going to have Spina Bifida, and she and her husband know he will have some challenges to face. But they also know that his life is precious and that he is a gift, and that in his own amazing way, his life is going to make a difference in the world. I’ve seen her pour out her heart, exposing the fear, sadness, and worry that comes with his prognosis, but I have also seen the joy, triumph, and praise that comes with realizing that even when what we plan doesn’t come to pass, God provides and He has a plan.

Sometimes I just as have to remind myself that He provides in the little things just as much as the big things.

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