Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Satan’s Attack

It’s been a while since my post-Christmas update, so I guess it it’s about that time to hash out all the craziness that exists in the Wilson household.

Mak started school in January with her Daddy at his school. She was apprehensive, but excited. She’s remained off her meds and yet her behavior has still been satisfactory; she’s staying on green each day! Jake essentially hand-picked her teacher, one of the best early grades teachers he knows, and we are incredibly pleased. Her previous teacher did not want her off meds (even gave us the wide-eyed “oooooh, hooo, hooo” when we explained our desire to work with Mak’s behavior free from medication) and her classroom lacked the rigor that she needs in order to catch up academically. Coloring is fine and all, but after a while, we need to see more. Anyway, Mrs. C, her new teacher, is off the chain when it comes to teaching sight words, word families, phonics, and fact families. She even has content vocab words like fiction or sum each week. As a teacher, this was a breath of fresh air. Content vocab! Imagine that! Anyways, a fresh start and a teacher more suited to her needs is what she needed, plus, she’s close to Daddy so he can keep an eye on her in case something should ever happen. Not to mention how much easier this is on our family’s schedule.

Back to school has been great, but not without its challenges. Mak’s behavior at home that first week was trying to say the least, but it has evened out. She just had a whole lot of changes to adjust to.

She had a check up with her behavioral doctor… the one she sees for the supposed ADHD she’s got (note my ginormous eyeroll here)… yesterday morning. Since it was MLK day and we were all out of school, Jake and I were both able to go and meet and talk to the doctor. Well, long story short, it was pathetic.

See, I need to vent.

First of all, when we came in, a very noisy nurse started asking us questions she had no business asking. I can’t share a lot of the details, but I will share this one snip-it of our conversation:
Noisy Lady (NL)- OH MY! Has she been eating? Has she been eating? Are you feeding her?! Has she lost weight?!
Me: Well, I weighed her when we first got her and she’s definitely gained. Her clothes are a size larger, but she’s still growing into them. She’s a little bit in between the sizes, but definitely growing into them.
NL: Well… Hmmphh. (weighs her and takes her height)
It looks like she has gained some.
Me: How much, to be exact, since she last saw you?
NL: …silence… six pounds.

I mean, come on.

Secondly, the entire place encouraged the concept of medicating a child for his or her negative behaviors, while specifically encouraging those behaviors in the process! Same lady tells Mak the second we walk into the exam room (which is filled with puzzles, games, toys… much like the waiting room, which boasted toys, aquariums, tvs playing movies and cartoons to boot), “Honey, play with whatever you like.”

Well, EXCUSE ME? Hello? Who are you?
I mean, I decide what she does. I decide what she can or can not do. You can rephrase that to “If your mommy and daddy are okay with it, You can play with whatever you’d like to.”

Or better yet, don’t at all… it’s bad enough that ADHD is a diagnosis of exclusion. In other words, some doctor, psychologist, or other medical professional sees the kid for 15 minutes once every three months in an unfamiliar, overly stimulating place filled with new things to look at and asks questions about home and school, and when nothing else can be pointed to (like a divorce or bullying) it must mean that nothing else but a chemical imbalance in the brain is causing the kid to misbehave or not focus.
And it is certainly never the kid’s fault. And of course, the parent can’t help the way he or she is! HA!

Okay, how do you KNOW, then, that there is a chemical imbalance? Did you check? Take some sort of biopsy or analysis? Where is the proof that this imbalance exists.

I’m not saying ADHD or ADD isn’t real… I just want to see a legit diagnosis. 

May I also point out that Medicaid covers most of these therapies, treatments, visits, and medications, so that for the majority of people these doctors are diagnosing, there is no fear that they won’t get paid.

And what do these meds do? Subdue the child. These meds put them in such a stupor that they often won’t eat unless you make them (hey, that’s convenient for the grocery budget), and no need in people thinking your kid’s a hellion; he or she will quietly sit and entertain themselves while you go on with business.

Win for the doctors. Win for the lazy parent.
Loss for the taxpayer. Loss for the child.

I truly believe this is one huge area where Satan is making his attack on the family. Granted, parents have a lot going on. I know.
But, laziness has prevailed and keeping up with the Jones (well, appearing like you are) seems to matters more. It’s centered in selfishness. Am I saying all parents who put their kids on ADHD meds are selfish? No. But many? Yes. How do these parents actually know it really is an imbalance and not just their kid being a brat, which is our nature, as sinful creatures? And how much of those behaviors could be rectified with positive behavior reinforcement and behavior modification… or more simply, lots of love, encouragement, and a good, old-fashioned discipline? But that’s hard, too hard, for many parents to stomach. It means giving up you time. I means putting down the ipad to work one-on-one with homework. It means no TV on because the kid lost that privilege. I means sticking to your guns, fighting tough battles, and quit sticking the DS or whatever in the kid’s hand to pacify him. Make him learn the appropriate behaviors. No wonder our country is the crapper. Parents are breeding ENTITLEMENT. We are entitled to two things- to be born, and to die. The rest is up to us to work for.  So what happens to the family? Parents resent kids, kids resent parents. All because the sole focus of both the parent and the children is on self. And who foots the bill for this type of family structure? The tax payer. It leads to broken homes. It fosters a since of need and dependency on hand outs, not because it was earned, but deserved. Notice how all of this completely contrary to Christ? His act was complete selfLESSness. Dying to ones self. Instead of teaching our children to emulate Him, parents teach through pacification that self is number one. It’s tragic.

I see why parenthood is challenging now. It’s spiritual warfare.


Melissa said...

Best thing I have ever read on this topic. SO true! Mak is very lucky to have you. :)

Casie Parrott Tyson said...

I completely agree with you in regards to ADHD meds. Having been a special education teacher and dealing with parents and reg. ed teachers who are just too busy to take the time to set rules and boundaries in their home or classroom, & they wonder why their kid is outrageously hyper or inattentive.

I truly believe there are some people who really do suffer from ADD/ADHD and those parents have tried, and when they reach high school, maybe meds are the best option. But kids will be kids, wild, crazy, hyperactive if there are no rules enforced...

Good job, mommy, way to look out for and on love on your kid!!!!