Saturday, July 30, 2011

He works in mysterious ways…

Well, it has been a week of wonderful surprises in our household.

Yep. When we least expected it, we discovered we’re going to have a baby!
To answer some questions:
Yes, we were trying, but in no hurry. We were shocked that it happened when it did.
For those of you who have read my recent blogs… you may be thinking “What about adoption?” Well, yes, adoption will still happen in time. We are still looking into paper work. He laid the burden of adoption on our hearts, and I will continue to listen to Him. Adoption was not a second choice for us, not something to be done if we couldn’t “have our own.” it’s not like we will abandon his call just because we’re going to be parents the traditional way as well. We plan to be obedient to His will, simple enough.
Yes, I feel fine. I have a few symptoms, but otherwise, things are pleasant. At this point, we are a little more than 5 weeks with our due date (as of now) around March 30, 2012. :)

I’m aware that it’s a little taboo to announce pregnancy early, and many women like to wait until they are “safely out of the first trimester” so I’m sure there’s someone out there thinking I’m crazy for being so upfront so soon, however, I’d like to explain our rationale for “letting the cat out of the bag” now.
-For one, my folks couldn’t hold it in. :) Precious! Our families are so excited, so joyful, it’s been passed along relatives so much that it just seemed pointless to keep it hush, hush.  Furthermore, I’m bad at coming up with excuses and even worse at keeping secrets myself. It was more of a bother to keep it hidden.
-Also, and probably most importantly, I have no reason to fear my first trimester. I know that in any pregnancy, there is a real risk that something could go wrong at any time, but, albeit challenging, worrying about it is a sin that I’m not willing to commit. I have an overwhelming peace about this, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God’s divine love will lead us through whatever this pregnancy will bring, and I trust Him in all things. No fear, just Him. So again, nothing to hide.

Another thing that’s been on my mind is the absence of a congratulatory comment from a dear friend who has struggled with infertility. Here are my thoughts on this. Being the only one not getting your wish sucks. It’s hard to watch friends get pregnant when you can’t and feel smiley and congratulatory when you can’t help but feel jealousy and maybe even anger. I understand that because I’ve been there. It’s also hard to sit back and watch friends and family enter the childbearing stage without you when you are not there yet… maybe just married and no desire to begin  a family yet, or maybe not even married yet. When your life stages aren’t in sync, it adds a new challenge to your friendship, and sometime you feel left behind.  Kind of like you’ve been lapped. I get that, because I’ve been there too. If you remember, I ranted about so many of my friends getting pregnant not to long ago, because these feeling were all fresh with me. It’s human. But that bitterness is toxic if you let it consume you. I’ve found so much peace in letting go and seeking His heart rather than asking “why” and begging for miracles. And I feel blessed for that.

So, welcome to this new adventure in my life. I’m so blessed as a wife, daughter, and teacher. I am so thrilled to now add “mother” to that list. God is so, so good. <3

1 comment:

Melissa said...

YAY!!!! Ohmygosh, congratulations!!!!

I hope i'm next! LOL. We are trying now... & my cycles finally regulated... & i'm ovulating NOW. LOL. FINALLY! Ok, this is all TMI but it's on your blog, not mine. :) :)

I'm so happy for you!!!