The weather has been crazy this week. Cool and foggy some days, 99 degrees today. Not to mention that there actually ended up being THREE tornadoes that touched down earlier this week, and we were all right in the middle of the mess. Since its so hot today, and I don't have to go anywhere (no class!) I plan on laying out by the pool. I've spent most of this morning being ridiculously lazy, so before I go out I've GOT to do some laundry and clean the house up. Then, tonight, my lovely cousin Brandi has asked me to come with her to see COREY SMITH!!! Oh, how I love Corey Smith, and it's gonna be even better since it will be some quality time with Brandi- we never get enough time together since we're both super busy- me with school and her with her 2 sweet little girls. So yeah, today seems like a pretty great day!
Despite how wonderful life's been, I still can't help but worry.
First of all, I'm mostly worrying over my Daddy. His cancer seems to be confined to the pocket of tissue around the knot on his head, but we will know more next week. He gets his stitches out today, I believe, and then they will plan the surgery and decide what the course of action is. So, Mama and I have been sitting and waiting and worrying about it. We're all doing our best to have faith that its going to be fine (after all, if it were absolutely critical, the doctor wouldn't have put it off for 2 weeks, would he?) but it is still so hard, especially with Father's Day right here. It reminds you just how precious your Daddy is. And Lord knows, my Daddy takes the cake there. He is the picture of pure goodness. Lord, make this worry go away and please fill my heart with Your peace, knowing that You have this in your control! Amen.
I've also worried about the rain, while it has been great not being in a drought like many years, all the rain has drenched to garden so much, the plants just aren't growing much and bearing fruit. I mean, this time last year, we were honeymooning in Mexico (Oh, to be back there now!!!! I digress...) and had to have neighbor John harvest for us while we were gone! This year, we have gotten just a cuke or squash here and there. Most of what we've gotten has came from the garden we're all working down at Pawpaw's, but it'll be awhile before we get any fruit off anything since the storm damaged so much. At least the beans are okay. I can't help but worry about all the hard work we've put into the gardens and how bad we need them to bare fruit- I mean we're pretty darn poor right now, and I haven't been to the grocery store in ages, I need some produce!!! At least the tomato plant has a couple on it... I want a fresh summertime tomato sandwich so bad I can hardly see straight here lately! Lord, please send rays of sun to make the garden grow and help it bear the fruits and veggies we need, Lord. Help me be patient and understanding and take my worries away!
Money. You know that had to be on this little list. Ever since our wonderful (note: SARCASM) NC governor, dear old Bev Perdue cut teacher pay, we've barely had our heads above water. I mean, once our bills get paid, that's every last penny we have. I've barely had enough to get to class (especially since we're traveling...) each week, and by now, I would have ran out of gas and money had it not been for Mama making sure my tank gets full each weekend, and her sweet little stops by the grocery store on her way over to visit! Mama, I can't thank you enough! :) Even though I know we're okay- the bills are not late, not behind- and Mama has vowed to make sure we don't go without gas or food, being so broke you can't stop at the store for a drink when its so hot, not being able to make a recipe or craft you find online because you can't run to the store and pick up that one item you need to do it, not being able to call up a friend and get lunch... it wears you down. I mean, we've always been a little poor as college students with part-time jobs, but it was never so bad that we couldn't get Chinese takeout once in a blue moon. Gosh, I can't tell you the last time Jake & I went out to eat ANYWHERE just the two of us. I mean, we can't even have a Dollar Menu date. Like I said, I know our bill have been paid and there are so, so, so many people out there that has it much worse, but it's just a depressing feeling to not get to do the simple things that you enjoy like that. And I know that this is not permanent. This next check should be back to full size (I hope?) and plus we'll have the check from Jake's summer job at the Y soon. And I know that in the long term outlook, we will both be okay. After all, once I start teaching, our income will jump drastically (provided they don't start making teachers pay the district to let them work or something stupid like that, but hey, I wouldn't be so surprised!!) or so I hope. I have to turn these worries over to Him, too.
So now that I've shared my worries and asked Christ to take them away, I do feel better. Tonight is gonna be great and Saturday Jake is gonna be playing music with the boys again, plus that evening there is gonna be an annual summertime Wilson bonfire, this one in celebration of our Wilson fathers, complete with Uncle Bob's homemade wine, cigars, and fire-jumping by our cousin Mark. It is always a great time. And Sunday, we will celebrate Father's Day with my Daddy, although I'm not sure what he's got up his sleeve yet for that day, but I know it will be fun.
You know, sometimes I really struggle with expressing how much I love our families and our life, however poor & simple it may be, and how full of blessings it is. I've been blessed with so many people who truly love me and I've got a beautiful roof over my head and a Lord who will take care of me and my worries despite how unworthy I may be! How wonderful! Lord, I will be faithful!