Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I got a peaceful, easy feeling...

I wrote this back in Sept. of 2007, & even though i'm not living on campus anymore and lots of stuff has changed, I still feel this way today...

so i am sitting up in my bed, directly in the window, looking down on the traffic of cherry road and the busy patrons of mcdonalds... snuggled in between my pillows with my lap top on my lap, thinking about where i am in my life right now.
in about eight months i will be married to my best friend, living in our own place, and getting ready to begin my junior year at winthrop. when did i blink? yesterday, i was a junior in high school, dancing down the hall, full of the happiness falling in love brings. Now, that hall is in a residence hall, and i'm full of the excitement of becoming Jake's wife. I feel so fortunate. I have so many things to do right now, between teaching fellows, the honors program, my ambassador duties, my classes, joining alpha omega, planning the wedding, trying to make time to be a good friend, keep in touch with my family, and attempting to keep my relationship with Christ front and center. But, despite the crazy length of my to do list, I am so complacent right now. I am looking out past Mcdonalds, beyond the buildings, and through the trees towards my house. I know my old dog is asleep on the porch, my dad's probably just now getting in from work, and mama will be shortly. In that house I have two amazing people there praying for me, cheering me on, ready to take me in their arms, and tell me i'll always be their little baby. I see these cars driving by towards 77, and just up the highway is UNCC, where the man i'm gonna lay down beside and kiss goodnite for the rest of my life is working on his lesson plans, thinking of me.
Looking out my window, i am so incredibly filled with joy and love. even though the world is so big, I'm not scared. I may be busy, sleepless, and stressed, but I am at peace.
I have so much in my life that I do not deserve. My friends (the real, true ones, who know me oh so well PLUS those others that may not be so close, but still offer me encouragement and smiles), my loving, caring, precious family, Jake, my husband, friend, confidant, lover, and partner...and most importantly, I have the love of Christ, who whispers in His still, small voice, love songs, encoragement, and promises into my heart. He reminds me daily of my shortcomings, but chooses not to hold them against me. He knows my worries, my fears, holds my hand, and stays by my side. I want to please Him so much and I want to try even harder. He has blessed me so much.
Life has become so hectic right now, holding on to the love of Christ and the blessings He has given me keeps me calm and peaceful. I don't really know what made me write this blog, but I'm glad I did. I want to tell the world how amazing life can be when its filled with His love and blessings, and that even when you feel like life is flying out of control, He keeps you sheltered from the storm with the armor of love.

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